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misconception number 1: if I breastfeed, my baby will take longer to sleep through the night and I will be exhausted
Sleep concerns are a legitimate worry when you want to have a baby or are pregnant. When I was pregnant, I was terribly anxious about the sleep issue because I love to sleep. I am one of those people who systematically calculates the number of hours of sleep they have left before the alarm clock goes off and stresses in advance about not getting enough sleep.
So on this particular point of sleep, rest assured, whatever your choice, YOU WILL BE TIRED! Or rather, you will be tired, in the plural, because your partner will be just as tired, no matter how your baby is fed (breast milk or formula).
There is absolutely no link between the quality of sleep of babies and breastfeeding. In fact, there are no studies comparing the sleep of one group with that of another. At Mumade, we looked and found nothing.
If you are breastfeeding, and after a few weeks or months your baby still wakes up at night, first of all tell yourself that you are not alone and that your child is not an exception. We talk more often about those who sleep through the night quickly than about all the others.
Surtout, vous entendrez très certainement des parents et peut-être même des professionnels de santé ( mais pas des personnes vraiment formées à l’allaitement ) vous conseiller d’essayer de lui donner des biberons de lait en poudre pour l’aider à dormir. Mais vous verrez aussi qu’à chaque fois que vous parlerez d’une difficulté, c’est l’allaitement qui sera pointé du doigt. Comme si allaiter était la cause de toutes les difficultés et qu’arrêter allait tout arranger. Vous pouvez essayer, mais il ne se passera rien ! La vérité c’est que votre enfant arrêtera de se réveiller lorsqu’il sera prêt. Et c’est impossible à anticiper.
As for us, our daughter woke up around 2am and then around 5am and we were waiting for her 3 months like the messiah. Indeed, it is said that at 3 months the child is no longer an infant, and that we have passed the most difficult stage. After 3 months, our daughter was still waking up at night, we were tired and we were beginning to wonder if it would ever happen. But it wasn't related to breastfeeding.
The other point raised in the title of this article concerns the fatigue of both parents and the fact that if you are breastfeeding, this fatigue is not shared, as the mother is naturally much more solicited than the spouse.
Pour ma part, cette angoisse était très personnelle. Comme je suis une grosse dormeuse, j’appréhendais les nuits hachées et je trouvais même injuste que le papa puisse dormir paisiblement tandis que moi je devrais sacrifier mon sommeil pour que mon bébé aie du lait maternel ( oups j’espère n’avoir choqué personne ! ) . En réalité, votre partenaire peut vous aider la journée, mais aussi la nuit, nous avons écrit un article à ce sujet.
Il y’a donc une part d’acceptation : accepter que les premières semaines, et les premiers mois, votre bébé a besoin de vous et que l’on ne peut pas savoir à l’avance combien de temps cela durera… on vous rassure, ils finissent tous par dormir plusieurs heures d’affilée, et même faire des longues nuits.
En attendant pour rendre ces moments moins difficiles, on vous conseille d’avoir près de vous un bon coussin d’allaitement pour vous aider la nuit. On ne peut que vous conseiller notre coussin Cocoon, ou notre coussin Liberty, tous deux pensés par une maman allaitante. C’est essentiel d’avoir le bon allié, surtout si comme beaucoup de mamans, vous n’arrivez pas à allaiter en position allongée.
So we thought about this and looked for a way to support each other. Here's our secret: as soon as breastfeeding started properly (after about 3 weeks) I started pumping once a day so that my partner could give a bottle at night. I would go to bed just after the last feed, and my husband, being a night owl, had no trouble staying awake. So he would feed our daughter around 2am and I could sleep for at least 5 hours at a time because I knew I could rely on my partner. When this arrangement ended because our daughter stopped waking up, he told me that he loved this time alone with our child.
Every baby is different, it's not about copying exactly what we did because maybe it won't work for him or you. But I can just assure you, if I've done it, it's something that pretty much anyone can do. There are different organisations or breastfeeding options. I think one of the keys is also to be able to talk and communicate a lot about these issues with your partner.
The conclusion is that you should not base your decision on this criterion of sleep (yours or the baby's). Indeed, nothing happens as you think, each child is different: there are breastfed babies who sleep through the night after a few weeks and bottle-fed babies who will still wake up at 18 months. Finally, breastfeeding doesn't mean you have to sacrifice yourself, as you can find the right breastfeeding for you.
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